Olga's copy of a Christmas poem for Alexandra, year 1906

Source:

http://statearchive.ru/469&searched=%C0%EB%E5%EA%F1%E0%ED%E4%F0%FB+%D4%E5%E4%EE%F0%EE%E2%ED%FB&highlight=ajaxSearch_highlight+ajaxSearch_highlight1+ajaxSearch_highlight2

The poem:

For my dear Mamma.

Christmas.

Tsarskoe-Selo 1906.

Christmas Greetings.
W. Manning.

There is kindness in the very name of Christmas,
There is joy in every clang of merry bells;
There is peace on every hand, on sea, and over land,
And good-will in every wish of "glad Noels"
There is little in the words that I am saying.
But the wish that they convey is most sincere
May your Christmas Day be bright, and your troubles ever light,
And joy attend you through the coming Year.
Olga.

Above: Olga.

Above: Alexandra.

Olga's letter to Alexandra, dated April 22, 1910

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/108838347527221/photos/a.108851520859237/114079827003073/?type=3&__tn__=-R

The letter:

Tsarskoe Selo 1910
22nd April
God bless you, my own sweet beloved Mama dear. May He make your name's day happy and a blessed One. Get well sweet love, how awfully happy all of us and other people will be. I so hope you wont be too tired tomorrow. Wasnt it lovely in Church. Such beautiful prayers he read, and did not you like M. Lazarev? I find she had such a dear little face in Church. My own beloved darling, sleep well, good-night. Thousand million hugs + kisses you Angel sweet from yr ever very true own awfully loving daughter Olga.

PS Kisses to Papa dear and A Irene. May I telegraph to Daisy for her christning? Should like. The lilac [illegible] is one of my own, but prefere you having it.

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Olga. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Olga's letter to Alexandra, dated January 17, 1909

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/108838347527221/photos/a.108851520859237/114186850325704/?type=3&__tn__=-R

The letter:

Satturday 17. 01. 1909 Tsarskoe Selo
My precious beloved Mama!
I am so awfully sorry that you are not feeling well. Oh! When will you get better, my sweet Mama? Hope so much that soon. When He will come you will be better and then it will be such a joy and a happy time for me. What did you do these last years my Mama darling, that you are not as well as you were before? It make's me so sad and anxious. I know when our dear Friend will be near us, Mama darling will feel better and not so week as now. Shall pray in Church for God to send you strength. God grant soon you will walk about like always before this year and last year. You asked me yesterday why did I cry, because it make's me to awfully sad to see you so week and tired. Your one tired look make's me feel that you suffer. Good bye sweet Mama. A true kiss from your very own daughter Olga. God bless you, be near you.

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Olga. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Grigori Rasputin, whom Olga and her mother and siblings referred to as "our Friend".

Poems Olga wrote down

Source:

https://vk.com/lastromanovs?w=wall-56510987_50495

Olga copied and wrote these poems into a notebook that Alexei gave her on November 2, 1910. It is a window into her religious faith and her personal, literary and spiritual tastes and sentiments. The first poem, Теперь не то (Everything is different now), written by Yulia Zhadovskaya, although copied by Olga in 1910, seems to eerily foreshadow the darkness that would overtake and end her life, and the moods she suffered through during that time.

The poems:

Теперь не то (Everything is different now), by Yulia Zhadovskaya, written in 1845

https://stih.pro/teperj-ne-to/ot/zhadovskaya

Я люблю тебя так оттого (I love you so much), by Alexei Apukhtin, written in 1859

https://m.rupoem.ru/poets/apuxtin/ya-lyublyu-tebya

Воскрешение и вознесение Христа (Christ's resurrection and ascension), by Alexei Pleshcheyev, written in 1858

http://www.world-art.ru/lyric/lyric.php?id=15185

Excerpt from Желание в горняя (Desire in the mountains), by Gavrila Romanovich Derzhavin, written in 1797

https://ru.wikisource.org/wiki/%D0%96%D0%B5%D0%BB%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5_%D0%B2_%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%BD%D1%8F%D1%8F_(%D0%94%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B6%D0%B0%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%BD)

Горними тихо летела душа небесами (Someone's soul was flying high in heaven), by Alexei Tolstoy, written in 1858

https://ru.wikisource.org/wiki/%D0%93%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%BC%D0%B8_%D1%82%D0%B8%D1%85%D0%BE_%D0%BB%D0%B5%D1%82%D0%B5%D0%BB%D0%B0_%D0%B4%D1%83%D1%88%D0%B0_%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%B1%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%B8_(%D0%90._%D0%9A._%D0%A2%D0%BE%D0%BB%D1%81%D1%82%D0%BE%D0%B9)

The poems:

Теперь не то -

Уж теперь не то, что было прежде!
Грустно мне, как вспомню о былом:
Раскрывалась сладко грудь надежде
И мечтам о счастии земном.

—

В горе я вдавалась безотчетно,
Без сознанья радостна была
И вперед глядела беззаботно,
Не страшася ни людей, ни зла.

—

Уж теперь не то, что прежде было!
Равнодушно я гляжу на свет;
В сердце грустно стало и уныло,
И желаний прежних больше нет.

—

Жизнь теперь я лучше разумею:
Счастья в мире перестав искать,
Без надежды я любить умею
И могу без ропота терять.

...

Я люблю тебя так оттого,
Что из пошлых и гордых собою
Не напомнишь ты мне никого
Откровенной и ясной душою,
Что с участьем могла ты понять
Роковую борьбу человека,
Что в тебе уловил я печать
Отдаленного, лучшего века!
Я люблю тебя так потому,
Что не любишь ты мертвого слова,
Что не веришь ты слепо уму,
Что чужда ты расчета мирского;
Что горячее сердце твое
Часто бьется тревожно и шибко...
Что смиряется горе мое
Пред твоей миротворной улыбкой!

...

Он шел безропотно тернистом дорогой,
Он встретил радостно и гибель и позор
Уста, вещавшие ученье правды строгой,
Не изрекли толпе глумящейся укор.

—

Он шел безропотно и, на кресте распятый,
Народам завещал и братство и любовь;
За этот грешный мир, порока тьмой объятый,
За ближнего лилась его святая кровь.

—

О, дети слабые скептического века!
Иль вам не говорит могучий образ тот
О назначении великом человека
И волю спящую на подвиг не зовет?

—

О нет! не верю я. Не вовсе заглушили
В нас голос истины корысть и суета;
Еще настанет день... Вдохнет и жизнь и силу
В наш обветшалый мир учение Христа!

—

...

Услышь, услышь мое моленье
О, Боже сил, миров Господь
Внуши сердечное прошенье,
И призри на меня с высот.
О Ты, который управляет
Подсолнечный из века в век
Блажен, блажен, коль уповает
На Бога токмо человек!

...

Горними тихо летела душа небесами,
Грустные долу она опускала ресницы;
Слезы, в пространстве от них упадая звездами,
Светлой и длинной вилися за ней вереницей

—

Встречные тихо её вопрошали светила:
«Что ты грустна? и о чём эти слёзы во взоре?»
Им отвечала она: «Я земли не забыла,
Много оставила там я страданья и горя.

—

Здесь я лишь ликам блаженства и радости внемлю.
Праведных души не знают ни скорби, ни злобы —
О, отпусти меня снова, спаситель, на землю,
Было б о ком пожалеть и утешить кого бы!

—

English translations (courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev; he did his best and I leave in his mistakes; and one translation is by me):

Everything is different now
Everything is different now!
I feel sad every time I remember the past,
When my heart was opening so sweetly to the hope and dreams of earthly happiness.
I grieved instinctively then,
And my joys were unconscious, too.
Light-hearted, I looked forward
And had no fear of people or evil.
But everything is different now!
Now I look around indifferently,
My heart feels sad and gloomy,
And my past desires are all gone.
Now I know this life better:
I don't search for happiness anymore,
I have learned to love with no hope
and to lose with no complaints.

...

I love you so much
Because your frank and clear soul
Reminds me of none of those
Who are vulgar and proud of themselves.
Because you understood the fatal struggle of a man
With all your heart.
I can feel something in you
That comes from some better past times!
Because you don't like a lifeless word,
And you don't trust mind blindly,
Secular calculations are unfamiliar to you;
Because your warm heart
Often beats fast and anxiously...
Because all my grievances
Submit to your peaceful smile!

...

He walked along the thorny path with no complaints,
He met the death and shame with the light heart.
His mouth that had taught the severe truth
Uttered no reproach to the mocking crowd.

He walked with no complaints, and crucified,
He bequeathed love and brotherhood to the folks;
His holy blood was spilled for his neighbor
And for this sinful world that is grasped with darkness.

Oh you weak children of the sceptic century!
Doesn't this great image tell you
Of the great mission of a human,
Doesn't it call your sleeping will to do a mighty deed?
Oh no! I don't believe. Vanity and greed
Haven't yet drowned the voice of truth speaking inside us;
The day is yet to come... Christ's teaching
Will bring life and power to this decayed world!

...

Hear, hear my prayer
O God of hosts, the Lord of the World
Suggest a heartfelt petition,
And look at me from the heights.
O Thou that rules
Sunflower over the centuries
Blessed, blessed, if one trusts
For God there is only man!

...

Someone's soul was flying high in heaven,
Looking down with sadness;
Tears were falling from her eyelashes like stars,
And this long and light procession was following her...

Those whom she met asked,
"Why are you sad? What are you crying about?"
She replied, "I haven't yet forgotten the earth,
I left so much suffering and grief there.

Here I listen only to the images of bliss and joy.
Saintly souls know neither sorrow nor malice.
Oh, savior, let me down to earth again,
There would be someone to comfort and console!"

Above: Olga. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.